Spam Poetry

It's poetry... made from Spam e-mail!

Cant' Afford the Medications You Need?

I've never felt better.
I have nothing to offer but blood

posted by: cteaghin at 16:27 | link | comments |

The Reason My Cat Attacks the Monitor

"So computers are tools of the devil?"
thought Newt.
He had no problem believing it.
Computers had to be the tools of somebody,
and all he knew for certain
was that it definitely wasn't him.

posted by: cteaghin at 16:49 | link | comments |

The Amazing Shouting Alaskan Weatherman

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN ANCHORAGE
HAS ISSUED A RED FLAG WARNING.

MOSTLY CLOUDY
WITH A CHANCE OF SHOWERS ALONG THE MOUNTAINS.
PARTLY CLOUDY SKIES
WILL PERSIST OVER THE REMAINDER OF THE AREA TODAY.

This file is usually updated about every two minutes.

IT IS DIRECTED TOWARD FIRE AGENCIES.
RAIN CHANGING TO SHOWERS LATE THIS AFTERNOON.

AREAS OF DENSE FOG ALONG THE WESTERN CAPES WILL REDUCE VISIBILITY
TO ONE QUARTER MILE OR LESS THROUGH THIS AFTERNOON.

A RED FLAG WARNING MEANS
THAT CRITICAL FIRE WEATHER CONDITIONS ARE IMMINENT OR OCCURRING NOW.

MOSTLY CLOUDY WITH SCATTERED SHOWERS
AND ISOLATED THUNDERSTORMS
INTO THE EVENING.

A RED FLAG WARNING
MEANS THAT CRITICAL FIRE WEATHER CONDITIONS
ARE

IMMINENT

OR OCCURRING

NOW.

AREAS OF DENSE FOG THROUGH THIS AFTERNOON ALONG THE WESTERN CAPES.

 
AND THROUGH THEM TO THE PUBLIC.
MAINLY ALONG THE ALASKA RANGR AND KUSKOKWIM MOUNTAINS.

posted by: cteaghin at 16:42 | link | comments (1) |

After the Locker Room Wedgie.

Turn your dream, into a reality,
A chain saw eagerly figures out the football team.
No hassle at all, completely unsecured.
is that not worth two minutes of your time?
A chain saw eagerly figures out the football team.

posted by: cteaghin at 16:43 | link | comments |

This Great Nations True Assests

A power drill over the cargo bay,
an optimal earring,
and an overwhelmingly
pathetic
paper
napkin
are what made America great!

posted by: cteaghin at 17:18 | link | comments |

Two Sides of a New Policy

Sit back and enjoy the ride on this one
You heard me uber cool
Disclaimer
I think it’s in my basement

Narrator
A full report will be forwarded to the Procurator Fiscal
Telecommuting
We are not responsible for them in any way

posted by: cteaghin at 17:19 | link | comments |

The Creepy Patriots Logic

People judge your dick size by your shoes size.
But we were able to dislodge some biases.
One; underage children.
websites containing "commercial" pornography
are Iranian

posted by: cteaghin at 16:16 | link | comments |

For the Stanley Cup is Upon Us

someone had spilled a great deal of venous blood in here.
It doesn’t seem good for ya,
and you can’t call yourself a Man
to laugh and drink all night with a hockey player
and a short order cook.

posted by: cteaghin at 16:33 | link | comments |